Hardest Secret To Keep
by littlefaberrystuff
Summary: Quinn is THE master of keeping secrets. But there is one secret that gets harder and harder to keep. And it involves one argyle-loving gleek. Faberry, a little Fabang nerdmance, implied Puckleberry bromance, and Quinntana friendship. One-shot.


Quinn Fabray was, if anything a very secretive girl. She was barely five when she learned how to keep things from her parents when her sister made Quinn swear to not tell anyone about breaking their grandmother's favorite antique vase during their Thanksgiving visit; it was after all— Quinn then thought— an accident, or so her sister told her.

Since then, she has seen how easy it was to get out of trouble and do what she wants when the grownups aren't fully aware of the things she's been up to. The second oldest secret she's kept is this nerd bond she shares with Mike Chang. Her parents seem to like the boy enough when they were kids, they thought he was nice… but they didn't think it good for Quinn to hang out with a barely middle-class Asian boy who always ends up muddy from riding his BMX, roller skating, or skateboarding. For Russell and Judy, it is better for Quinn to go play with dolls, stuffed animals and hold an imaginary tea party in her bedroom. At the tender age of seven, Quinn Fabray was already an expert in lying and covering her tracks, always 'playing with Cindy' or 'having a tea party with Lara in her house' or 'sleepovers with Natasha' but she was always at the Chang residence, playing dozens of video games with Mike, from Mario Kart to Tekken 3. Her parents never cared enough to check, as long as she was home before dark, so it was good.

At thirteen, she's mastered how to keep others' secrets and cover for their asses. Santana and Brittany were perfect practice for that. No matter how strange the friendship between S and her can be, the Latina knows Quinn will always have her back when it comes to Brittany – it's sort of an unspoken promise between the two of them.

The worst secret she's ever kept was when she was sixteen, about her baby's real paternity from her clueless boyfriend. She wouldn't have kept such a big thing from him if she didn't think it was better for them all. She was wrong though, because that being a secret did more harm than good, and estranged both boys she cared about deeply. Still, she'll never in her life regret bringing Beth into this world.

Quinn Fabray is the master of secrecy. She has become so good with concealing the truth and donning her steely mask so that it wouldn't show, but for all her prowess at being cunning, sly. and manipulative, there is one secret that gets harder and harder to tuck away and hide every single day.

That secret happens to be 5'2 and has a penchant for penny loafers and argyle sweaters.

Mike laughed so hard, his game controller fell from his hand, his stomach burned and his eyes turned to mere slits on his face when Quinn told her about her not so small crush in the middle of his game of COD (Quinn was munching on the weird looking, but yummy, dumplings Mrs. Chang always makes for them on game night when she blurted it out to Mike). She never had to tell Santana, she knew that S saw her little thing for Berry from miles away. How she did that, Quinn would never know. Brittany just smiled at her and said "Rach is pretty hot when she's not wearing her ugly sweaters… I bet she's hotter when she's not wearing anything."Her eyes glazed over at the thought and Santana smacked her after making her usual gagging sounds. "Ew, Q, that's just gross. And don't drool on my Mama's carpet. She's going to kick my ass, and then I'd have to kick yours. Trust me Q, you wouldn't like it when that happens." She doesn't respond and Santana realizes she's off daydreaming (or perving), on the annoying Smurf. Santana gagged again and just left Quinn by herself in the living room.

The hardest part about keeping her secret, is when she sees her in the morning before first period begins, grabbing books from a locker no more than 8 feet from her, and her throat constricts, her ribcage feels like it's going to cave in and burst at the same time, her intestines feel like their tumbling around in her stomach like laundry in a washing machine, and she can't help but stop dead on spot, forget whatever she's doing and watch her every move from the corner of her eye.

Quinn Fabray feels like stabbing herself. Every single fucking time she tries to admit it to her, she ends up spewing something nasty instead. Heh, no wonder Rachel has numerous nicknames, huh? Well, because one fucking brilliant Quinn Fabray fails to admit her feelings for every single one of them. She wants to bang her head repeatedly on her locker every day. And it all just got worse when she decided to join Glee Club.

It's so pathetic how miserable she's making herself. She just sits there on a chair at the risers watching fucking Finn Hudson and Rachel Barbra Berry sing lovey-dovey songs with googley eyes at each other. _Huh, when did you start putting 'ey' at the end of your words, Fabray?_ Christ, she's talking to herself in her mind now, great. She's gone loony now too. Oh fuck, there it is again. Too caught up in her thoughts, she doesn't realize that she growled out her frustration, until the whole club, plus Mr. Schue and Brad stare at her, curiously.

She turns tomato red, something she never thought any human was capable of, no matter how pale their skin tone is. And when she realizes Rachel Berry's staring at her with her wide chocolate eyes looking a little, _is she really? What— no that's impossible… Oh fuck, she is…_ worried yet a little pissed at being interrupted at her solo part in the song, Quinn wanted nothing more than to be a flash of red and bolt so fast from the room, it'd be as if she just vanished. _Wow, Fabray, it's nice that you can still make references to one of your favorite DC comic book heroes when the earth should just open beneath your feet and swallow you… Geez, you're an idiot._

"Quinn, is there anything wrong?" She sees Rachel's mouth move seconds before the sound of her voice reaches her ears. She should really stop this 'zoning-out-and-getting-lost-in-nerdy-or-pervy-thoughts-about-Rachel' kinda thing… _Really, you're looking like a doofus right now, Fabray._

"Quinn, I'll have you know, that if you have any qualms about Finn and I singing this duet together, that you have no right to feel any kind of jealousy, hostility and every other unpleasant thing towards me since we are now a couple and he is no longer with you… I had this impression that you were fine with that since you were the one to welcome us first at the Club meeting after getting home from Nationals in New York, clearly that is not the case." Rachel manages to speak a paragraph of words and only expel a few breaths.

A heavy weight tugs at Quinn's chest, not because of Finn but because halfway through Rachel's rant she realizes that the whole 'no right to be jealous' thing applies to her when it comes to Rachel. She casts her eyes downward and mutters an apology under her breath, explaining how it wasn't really about Finn or any of that drama and how she's over it all now. Rachel sets her lips in a straight line and simply nods, continuing with their song. Finn just wears a funny constipated/confused look throughout the whole ordeal. _What the hell did I ever see in Finn Hudson anyway?_

Senior year starts without much excitement, same way as junior year started, Jacob Ben Israel interview and all. This time though, she just walks away from him and his creepy ass inquiries and cameraman who is another 'fro wearing lanky boy with badly shaking hands. Quinn bets that whatever footage he got would be unusable anyway, given how jumpy it all would be.

She wasn't surprised when their power couple, break up again in the middle of the semester. She'd be lying is she said she wasn't concerned about Rachel, though. The girl seems to be more subdued, quieter, no longer fighting for solos and interrupting Mr. Schue… It was way worse than last year. _Ugh, stupid, stupid Finn "douchebag" Hudson._ She'd give anything to just get one good punch to his jaw.

What she didn't expect though was someone calling her at two in the fucking morning the next day. She blinks wide and gets the same feeling in her throat, her chest and her stomach at the lockers every day when she sees that that 'someone' who called was Rachel.

She picks the call up and puts it against her ear. She hears quiet sobbing and she feels her knuckles turn white from clutching her sheets and her blood boil. "Rachel?" The concern was evident in the tone of her voice.

The sobbing girl on the other end, Rachel gasps. "W-who is this? Q-Quinn? Ohmygod, I'msosorry, sosorry," her words started mashing together is a mess of apologies. "I wasn't supposed to call you. I was dialing Puck's number… Oh God, I'm so sorry. Forget this ever happened. Forget I ever called. I'm sor—"

"Rachel." She softly yet firmly spoke Rachel's name to stop the ramble of 'sorrys'. When she heard the girl take a deep breath she asked, "What's wrong, Rachel? Why did you need to call Puck at two in the morning while you're crying?"

Rachel took another deep breath, a little surprised at the sound of worry in Quinn's voice. "Quinn, you really don't have to talk to me. You can go back to your rest. I shall go call Puckerman instead. He—"

"Rachel." Quinn cuts her off once again. "Rachel, I'm here… You can talk to me. Besides, I'm already awake. And I won't let you off the line until I know what's up."

Rachel sighs. "It's just… You know… Finn," she pauses collecting the mess she calls her thoughts. "I just can't believe he broke it off just like that when he realized that there was nothing he can do to convince me to stay here in Ohio with him. I need to be in New York, Quinn. If I never tried and did everything to get there, I would never be able to forgive myself… My dreams, Quinn, my future… I just can't abandon something I've wanted since I was a toddler barely able to talk. They're who I am…"

Quinn listened to Rachel pour her heart out to her and almost bare her soul. It was all overwhelming to have the object of her affections turn to her like this like… _she was important to Rachel. Like Rachel trusts her… completely._ The wind was knocked out of her lungs from that thought.

"Quinn…? Are you still there? Or have you fallen asleep?"

She realizes that she hasn't spoken for a few minutes after Rachel had gone quiet.

"I'm sorry, Rach… I was just caught up in my own thoughts, I guess."

"Well, then why don't you let me hear them?"

"…my thoughts? You want to… hear what I think?"

"Of course, Quinn, I woke you up at two in the morning and made you listen to my petty insecurities and all…"

"I wanted to listen, Rachel… I'm glad to be here. I don't mind this at all."

Rachel was dumbfounded. She had no idea what to say. Quinn Fabray wanted to help her, didn't mind listening to her, and glad to be there for her. Wow.

"I can practically hear your eyes go wide through the phone, Berry." She chuckles.

"Seriously though, Rachel, don't let Finn tie you down to this miserable place. You have a bright future, you have the talent and the will to make it happen. You belong in New York, Rach."

_Rach... I like that_, she thinks.

They talk for a while more about small things, until Rachel yawns infectiously on the other end of the line which makes Quinn yawn too.

"Looks like it's time we hit the hay." Quinn whispers to the phone, thinking that if Rachel were there, she would be whispering that to Rachel's ear.

There was a few seconds before she receives a sleepy "okay."

"Good night, Rach."

"Good night, Quinn."

"See you…" Quinn closes her eyes, still holding the phone close to her ear. Rachel doesn't answer; instead she gets a soft snore in response. She smiles adoringly, too tired to laugh at the girl. Before pressing the 'end call' button, there was a quiet "sleep tight, princess," for her sleeping star.

They eventually work out a friendship through the duration on senior year. Still, Rachel finds that Quinn can still be a bitch and Quinn finds herself, still unable to admit her true feelings for the other girl and ends up making bitchy comments whenever she attempts to. _Really_, Quinn thinks, _why_ _does she even bother?_

… For that small glimmer of hope inside her that tells her if it turns out Rachel harbors the same feelings for her. Quinn shakes the thoughts out of her head. _Dammit, Fabray, you're not supposed to entertain those kinds of thoughts! She's still hung over that douchebag, remember? _She thinks bitterly.

For all the effort she's put into cheering Rachel up and getting her to move on, there are still moments, here and there, where she still stares longingly at the back of Finn Hudson's empty head. Quinn just sits quietly beside her, setting her lips in a taut line and counting the seconds ticking by to calm herself.

One day, though, Quinn finds that simply counting does not do the trick any more. One day, she doesn't stop to think, doesn't even bother to gather her courage, and doesn't even bother thinking of what she's about to do… She just does it.

And Quinn Fabray, for all of her epically failed attempts at confessing her feelings to one Rachel Berry ever since Sophomore Year, blindly drags her to an empty Science Lab and kisses her…

Mike whoops, Puck leers, Santana smirks, Brittany claps, Lauren snorts, Finn glares, Sam, Mercedes, Artie, Tina just give accepting smiles after a few moments of stunned silence.

Quinn Fabray just smugly wraps an arm around her girlfriend's shoulders and kisses the side of her head. Rachel Berry blushes a beautiful shade of pink and giggles.

Twelve years later, they have moved out to New York, finished both of their bachelor's degrees, Rachel's in Theatre and Music, Quinn's in Veterinary Medicine. They move out from their loft space where they spent their broke-ass college days, and move in to a better and spacious apartment. Rachel gets her first lead role which gives her a Drama Desk Award and a Tony Nomination. Quinn opens up her own vet clinic near their home. A few more shows, awards, and anniversaries later, Quinn proposes first, a day earlier than when Rachel planned to 'pop the question' herself. After saying yes, Rachel stomps her foot and accuses Quinn of ruining her perfect proposal for her, Quinn just laughs. It was a simple wedding. They got married at sunset because Rachel wanted the 'dramatic effect of the sunset while professing her commitment to her wife.'

Twenty-five wedding anniversaries later, Quinn would look back and recall all the events that lead to her having the girl she's always wanted. Hey, maybe Finn Douchebag wasn't so bad after all. If it wasn't for him, Rachel would not have call that night so long ago. At this she laughs and ends up wearing the same crooked grin that she had back when she was sixteen and her crush on Rachel Berry was the hardest secret to keep.


End file.
